Cloudy With A Chance Of…Hope?

“Have you ever felt like you were a little bit different. Like you had something unique to offer the world, if you could just get people to see it…Then you know exactly how it felt to be me.” Flint Lockwood

These words, as simple as they seem,  are not the opening lines to some profound speech, or better yet, some prolific author. No, they are the opening words to “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs”. I never really paid any attention to the opening scene the few times our son Caleb had seen the film. I just figured it was another cute film about silly stuff that seemed to captivate my son and so many kids alike. But this morning those words took on a whole different meaning.

I’ve always felt that I was different. When I was 12 years old I wasn’t spending my extra time playing ball or running around with my  friends. I was leaning how to play the saxophone. You see, my dad played in high school and kept playing into his adult life, or at least until he had us kids. I remember hearing dad playing in his room and I was fascinated, swept away. I would press my ear up against the door just to get closer to that warm sound that drew me in like a moth to light. My mom often encouraged me to ask my dad to teach me, but I was too shy, or better, scared. I didn’t know why, but as I look back it was probably because I was afraid to fail. I eventually mustered enough courage to ask my father to teach me how to play and he did.

So, in junior high while everyone was listening to Boyz II Men and Red Hot Chili Peppers,  I was listening to Benny Goodman, Artie Shaw, Gene Krupa. I would listen to those old records for hours, trying to figure out how to play those sax solos. I memorized all the parts, could sing them with precise accuracy. I was different. Some called me a nerd and a geek.  I would ride my bike  to school  everyday and would die a little from humiliation because my bike had a rack attached to carry my sax. Silly when I look back on it, but that was my reality.

In the movie, Flint was made fun of because he had a passion for something that was different than what his classmates were interested in. He made spray on shoes growing up. How awesome is that?! But, in reality, being different was hard for him. I think often in our lives, we dismiss any thought that being different may be a unique gift. Instead, we look at being different as a burden, or some kind of character flaw. However, I want to challenge that thinking. What if we were created to be more that what we are right now? I believe with all my core that we were created to live a life full of purpose and destiny. There is a story out there waiting to be lived out. What’s the story you want to tell? Is it one that will forever change your family tree? Or is it one that will be heard for a moment, but then forgotten.

Flint ran away from school that day he shared his passion for science crying and feeling hopeless. But even his mom knew there was something special in her son.

“The world needs your originality Flint. You just have to grow into it and I know that you are going to do big things someday.” ~Fran Lockwood

She was right. I think we all have people in our lives who have said this in one way or another.  But, if you’re anything like me, chances are there were a few times in life that it went in one ear and out the other. Well, if it’s been a while, I’m here to tell you that I believe in you. Playing the saxophone has taken me all over the world. I’ve seen things and been to places that I could have never imagined. Music is part of my make up, it’s what makes me, me. There is something that makes you, you. Hold onto that, own it, risk it all. Remember, everything you are forced to do isn’t you at all. God gave you the inherit desire deep in your soul to become something. Something original, something special and unique. Something different.

“People who take high responsibility for their life are the people who take the greatest risks in life” -~Erwin McManus

What I’ve learned being unemployed

For the past three months work has been pretty much non existent. I use to work at a sound facility where I was a full time employee. I would work 40 hrs a week and sometimes more. However, the facility was sold to new owners and with that move pretty much everyone was made freelance. The days of guaranteed work and consistent pay periods were over. This happened in June and ever since then life has  shown me a different side of herself.

I am the kind of guy that cannot stand still, literally and figuratively speaking. Soon after my last day mixing at the previously mentioned facility, I found myself stressing out to find work. I was constantly checking email for any glimmer of hope for work. I knew that I would have work in November, good work, union paying work, but what would I do until then.  I had to make money, my family was counting on me. Being the sole bread winner for our family, I began to stress out very quickly.

Back in April of this year, we began to take charge of our finances, the Dave Ramsey way. It was not long until our “Total Money Makeover” was in full gear. (more on our “TMM” in a future post). So, because we have now had several months of budgeting under our belts, we were fortunate to have learned some new money behaviors. It was these new learned behaviors that got us through such an uncertain time. I really believe that without the financial game plan we had in place we would not have been able to enjoy the time I had been unemployed. That’s right, I said enjoy!

Far too often we are influenced to think that the only way to a happy and successful life is to give ours away to a career or the pursuit of one. I’ll never forget the 1st time I asked for advise from a very successful composer. This man was everything I wished to be. He had worked with the likes of John Williams and Barbra Streisand. This guy knew his stuff and how lucky of me to have personal contact to ask him whatever I want. I was certain that he would be the man to give me the advise I was looking for as to how to break into the scene as a composer. I wrote that first email and got a response almost right away. I was surprised that his advise was entirely non-musical. He encouraged me not to get caught up with the pursuit of a successful career trying to climb that ladder at all cost. Instead, spend time with those you love. Take care of your family and your relationships because in the end, this is all that matters.
 
That email is about 5 years old, but you know what? I still hear those words loud and clear. The past few months have been hard because I have not had much work, but once I began looking at my time at home as time to invest in my family, my life has never been sweeter. This has definitely been the most time I’ve spent at home in then past 6 years. It has been a time to love on our kids, to date my wife again, and dream of creating situations that help me stay at home more. Work begins for me again next week and I’ll be back to some long days. But I can tell you this much, coming home to my family after a long days work will feel much more sweeter. Home really is were your heart is.

  

To My Bride…

Song to a Good Wife

A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long. She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing. She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises. She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day. She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden. First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day. She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking. She’s quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor. She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear. She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks. Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers. She designs gowns and sells them, brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops. Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile. When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly. She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive. Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise: “Many women have done wonderful things, but you’ve outclassed them all!” Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God. Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises!

Prob. 31:10-31

To My Bride…

You are a good woman, a great mom and an even better lover.  You may not always feel that way and I may not always remind you of it, but I want you to know that in my core, deep in my soul, you are always these every moment of the day.

At times, your body feels the stress of your joints, or the exhaustion of your fatigue, but your spirit is never down, you heart never broke. You look ahead to better days. and they do come. I know that when your body gives up on you your soul never does. Your heart is full of love, enough love for the whole world. And we are blessed to be the closest to your love and your heart.

Anna, you amaze me with the life you live, the choices you make and the vision you have for your future. You are filled with passion and life, people who know you see a radiant light that shines clear across any room. You befriend the friendless and nurture your close friendships. I’ve never met another woman who seeks constant knowledge and wishes to better herself with information. You are a true seeker.

God has truly smiled down on you and your life. I see his reflection in your own smile, in the glimmer of your eyes. Your beauty is captivating, your heart is love. You are the woman I’ve always dreamed of and I get you all to myself, for the rest of my life. I am the luckiest man alive.

What kind of dad are you?

“Tomorrow Caleb will be 3. He’s taller, he talks more, he speaks clearly, he has ideas, he is innovative, he is positive, he makes jokes, he has conversations, he says he has Jesus in his heart, he runs, he plays baseball, he shows us his muscles, he asks for things, he prays. This is my son. Growing up. Getting bigger…. Gaining wisdom and having fun! This is me, incredibly proud and so in love!”

This was a post that I stole from my wife’s FB status the night before our son Caleb’s 3rd Birthday this past Saturday. It’s a great summary of the last three years. So perfectly put in describing Caleb’s life. He’s special. He’s important. He’s significant. He’s loved. He’s our son.

So much has happened in three years that trying to put it in words is simply impossible. But experiencing it has changed my life. Being a father is such a special gift and more importantly a huge responsibility. I feel it no coincidence that I have been reading and learning about what it takes to win at being a father. I am going through a wonderful study called Men’s Fraternity and these past few weeks I’ve been learning some awesome things about being a dad that loves and encourages their kids. I’d like to share a few things that I have read that have stirred my own heart and encouraged me to be a better father.

Are Kids Worth it? (of coarse they are!)

1. 97% of all parents have no regrets in having children.
2. 75% of all parents assert that having children strengthened their marriage.
3. 89% of all parents say that having children increased their enjoyment of life.
4. 81% of all parents say watching children grow up is life’s greatest pleasure

My challenge, knowing what to do as a dad. I read that their are 5 types of dads here they are:

1. The absent dad. (Physically their, but not present in the kids life)
2. The distant dad. (Dad is home, but the kids don’t feel him. He’s around, but his dissolve is the home.)
3. The demanding dad.(He connects through power, control, orders)
4. The involved but vision-less dad.(getting involved, invests, show his love, but comes short by not delivering a vision for his kids)
5. The involved and strategic dad.(He gets involved, invests, shows love, he has a proactive plan, and a strategy)

I know I want to be the last dad (no.5) but I know that this comes with a huge challenge. I’ll admit that there are some days I feel like I fail my kids. Maybe I spend too much time working and not enough time playing with them. Or, the feeling that I am not a good enough provider. So, there is always going to be a struggle internally, but I know with enough encouragement, support, and determination, I can be that type of dad.

So, Dad’s, which of the five types of dads was your dad most often? Which of the five dads are you most often with your kids? What is one strategic move you could make right now to  become a better dad?

 

stats from Men’s Fraternity

Winning at Work & Home by Robert Lewis

My 1st Blog

So…I decided to start a blog. Why? Well, why not everyone else is doing it. Ok, doesn’t really seem like a good reason so I’ll be honest. I was reading an article today called “30 Habits that Will Change Your Life”, and it made me think. I do some of the mentioned habits, but what would happen if I started actually implementing these habits into my daily routine? Would it really change my life? Would I actually see the benefits of only checking email once or twice a day? Unheard of by the way. Anyone who knows me would tell you that my iPhone and I have a love hate relationship. I love what it is for me, but I hate that I can no longer hide from anyone. Anyways, one of the above mentioned habits was Start a Blog. So, here I am.

I’ve always wanted a way to communicate and document the kind of daily thoughts and experiences I have. I do have a very unique and blessed life, so why not share it? I am not one of those crafty and creative writers by any means and my grammar is horrible. I make a living composing music and mixing sound for tv and film, more on that later, so I am creative at my core. However, I was never very good with words. English, never one of my best subjects in High School. So, I see spell check and I getting along very well.

Everyone has a story. Hopefully, with a little time, I can share mine.

Blessings, Joel

P.S. Here are the 30 Habit that Will Change Your Life

http://freestylemind.com/30-habits-that-will-change-your-life